Simply Addicted To ?

Can we even remember a time before the 'stuff' of life affected our well-being? Do we remember what it felt like to run free, smell a beautiful flower, watch a cloud floating in a deep blue sky, or delight in smashing a dandelion into a hundred floaty things?

Try to think back to this state of being...when your cares and worries were hopefully tended by someone who loved you unconditionally; when your day was filled with a thousand fascinations about a myriad of things that you now may think to be trivial and unimportant. A time when you simply and joyously laughed at a funny beetle and slept when you were tired, were fed when you were hungry and cried when your toy busted.

This however, may not have been the experience for many of us and this is when the 'stuff' of life began. Fast track to the now and our liver is extended, our lover is leaving or has left us, we've been summoned to court, we've lost our job and the only leisure we look forward to is 'getting out of it'. Our addictions are killing us, we know it, but we don't care...life has affected our well-being and natural 'state of being'.

Addictions are simple and complicated. Addictions are obvious and subtle. Addictions give us a boost but sap our energy. Addictions are loved and hated. Addictions are needed but unwanted. Addictions inspire us and dull us. Addictions change and alter us into someone we don't recognise anymore. Addictions are blamed for heinous crimes. We choose our addictions but they are our master. Addictions fill an empty space within us that we have forgotten to fill with something better...the care and loving of ourselves.

It's sad isn't it...to begin pure and then become 'corrupted'. To have injustices imposed upon us through no fault of our own, to make bad decisions because of limited support and knowledge, to be dragged from place to place without ever feeling connected to it or staying long enough to develop deep friendships. How does someone recover from this type of experience? Can it be ever possible?

When I was a practising counsellor, there were three types of 'customers' I was trained to recognise. The first was the 'window shopper' - someone who shopped around trying out different and/or the latest therapy fads. The second was the 'complainant' - someone who just wanted to complain about somebody else and how badly they've been treated. The third was the real 'customer' or 'client'. This was someone who had reached a point where they wanted to change something in their life...something that had worn out its welcome.

The 'customer' was the easiest client to work with and my 'success' as a counsellor was practically guaranteed, as was their success. My 'work' was simply to provide support during this change, define a goal and then together, figure out what their life would look like, smell like, feel and be like, when that goal for them had been achieved - ie, measureable outcomes. Of course, this was not always a straight forward process as the 'shadow' of the former 'life' can be very powerful and it would often cast itself back over the new lifescape before finally moving on.

This really brings me to the subject of 'motivation', which I'd like to write further about in a future hub. Suffice it to say, that defining our motivation for change is the key to bringing about change. In finishing this hub, I'd like to invite comments from those of you who have found the motivation to change an addiction, and perhaps what precipitated it? I too, am no stranger to addictions and it was only after a serious accident occured when I was younger, did I sit up and take notice of this wake-up call, and begin to bring about powerful and far-reaching changes to my life.

All the best

Alan

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